The Process in Becoming

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2013 approaches and the start of a new year is typically a baseline for new ‘things’. Diets, exercises, good habits launched, bad habits ceased…ad infinitum. Obviously a new year is a fitting launch point and so reacquainting with a certain concept is sought: “How long does it take to develop a new habit?” This query returns a number of answers; some say 2 weeks while others say 21 days. The end result is what inspires it all, the inspiration to BECOME. To become healthier, stronger, wiser, etc.

But there is a Process in Becoming that must be accepted; it is the gatekeeper to your Goals. This Process is also a catalyst to your growth. Since it’s standing between you and your goals and is responsible for your growth, it’s obviously crucial for Becoming. So what is the Process? Listed below and not in any particular order are 3 necessary elements of the Process:

LISTENING

No one likes lecturing or criticism but both are essential to development. If we want to Become something we are not, then logically we must listen to those who have already Become. Only a fool closes their eyes to what they have to show. Only a fool closes their ears to what they have to say. Only a fool closes their mind to what they have to teach. What you see, what you hear, and what you already know has not been sufficient to take you to that place you pursue. These have to be laid aside to receive something greater. This takes a great deal of courage! Shut up and listen; while you are speaking all that’s coming out is what you already know. Be still and hear so you can absorb something greater.

FAILURE

Friedrich Nietzsche said of Failure: “A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions, as attempts to find out something. Success and failure are for him answers above all.” What a perspective! It removes the stigma of failure by simply assigning it a place in the steps of the Process.

How many have never tried because they were afraid of failure? The potential alone was enough to detour them. But what if failure (or the perception of it) could be accepted beforehand? What if it could be considered, by default, a part of the Process? Its influence would not go away but rather it would be channeled into a productive force. Thomas Edison was quoted as saying “I have not failed, I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work”.  A former supervisor once told me that the sign of a great technician is not what they fix but what they break. What this idea communicated to me was, it all comes down to experience. I have a friend who is known to take mechanical things apart once they quit working simply to learn about how they functioned. To most, these things lost their use when they broke but to him a lesson could be extracted from them.

DECISION

The etymology of our English word “decision” is from the Latin “decidere” which has within its connotation the meaning “to cut off”. Some ties have to be severed. Negative voices, destructive influences, and things that take from you but never add to you must go. They are like dead limbs on a tree or “suckers”; they partake of the substance of the root yet never contribute to the production of fruit. Get the shears out and sever these suckers off. They manifest in all forms; they can be habits, attitudes or relationships. Deal with them or they will keep doing what they want with you.

There are many more elements in the Process of Becoming than these I’ve listed. Furthermore, I did not even get close to exhausting the 3 I mentioned. But I hopefully have offered you something to think about.

The inspiration for this commentary was no doubt the reflection of something in my subconscious that played out in a dream I had this past Friday. In my dream, I was at the base of a mountain and at the summit of this mountain it was raining. The rain seeped down the side of the mountain and as I climbed the mountain it would wash down over me. During my ascent I could not tell if the rains hindered or helped me. At times I was forced to suspend myself over open areas that to fall through would mean certain death. But all the while it continued to rain and the waters flowed passed me as well as over me.

Finally I reached the top and when I hoisted myself over, I saw others who had already climbed lying down and resting. Someone rose up and asked me “are you going to take this mountain” and I replied that I would continue beyond it. When I looked beyond where we stood, I saw another set of mountains whose top was covered by clouds. As I started to walk toward them I woke up. The symbolism was not lost on me as I replayed the dream over in my mind. The Process in Becoming is akin to climbing a mountain, it is difficult but there is a mountain top experience that waits for us.

Copyright © 2012 J.M. Cortés

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